Signs your parent may need more support

Physical signs

• Unexplained bruises or injuries — may indicate falls they haven't mentioned
• Weight loss or gain — may mean they're not eating properly
• Difficulty walking or balance issues — increased fall risk
• Decline in personal hygiene — not showering, wearing dirty clothes
• New or worsening incontinence — often hidden out of embarrassment

Around the house

• Fridge full of expired food — or mostly empty
• Piles of unopened mail — especially bills
• Unusual mess or clutter — in someone who was previously tidy
• Burnt pots or scorch marks — forgetting things on the stove
• Garden overgrown — in someone who always maintained it
• Medications not taken — pills still in the weekly organiser

Behavioural changes

• Withdrawing from activities — stopping hobbies, not seeing friends
• Repeating stories or questions — in the same conversation
• Confusion about time or place — getting lost in familiar places
• Difficulty managing finances — unpaid bills, unusual spending
• Increased anxiety or agitation — especially in the evening (sundowning)
• Not answering the phone — or not returning calls

Driving concerns

• New dents or scrapes on the car
• Getting lost on familiar routes
• Slower reaction times or near-misses
• Other people expressing concern about their driving

What to do if you notice these signs

1. Talk to their GP — share your observations. The GP can assess and refer to specialists or a Needs Assessment.
2. Request a Needs Assessment — through Health NZ, arranged via the GP. Free. Determines what home support they're eligible for.
3. Make the home safer — see the home safety checklist.
4. Consider monitoring — so you know if something is wrong without being intrusive. See monitoring options compared.
5. Get support for yourself — caring for a parent is exhausting. Carers NZ and Age Concern support family carers too.